Quite Honestly by John Mortimer

Author:John Mortimer [Mortimer, John]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Fiction
ISBN: 9780670034833
Google: QTRuPgAACAAJ
Amazon: B0068F17Y4
Publisher: Viking
Published: 2006-03-23T08:00:00+00:00

Because Mr Markby had told me to keep an eye on Lucy, I agreed to move in to her flat in Notting Hill Gate. Anyway, I’d got a bit tired of the maisonette, what with Diane’s long suggestive looks and the future Sir Leonard ‘Chippy’ McGrath becoming more and more pompous after his name had been mentioned as the possible future chairman of SCRAP.

In the flat (All Saints Road, up a couple of floors) I could still go out on any of the big jobs when Chippy needed my help. Apart from that, I saw that Lucy got up in time for work and left thieving to the professionals. During the day I did the shopping, cleaned up and read some of the books Lucy had on the shelves in the lounge. In the evenings, Lucy either got me cooking with her or we went out locally for a Chinese or an Indian. Looking back, it was about the best time of my life, but nothing much happened in the story I’ve got to tell. Except perhaps I ought to just mention the evening Lucy said she was getting a bit bored with the Beau Brummell and she’d take me to ‘her club’, which was the Close-Up in Soho. Anyway, she said it was her club but it seemed that her ex, Tom Weatherby, was the member and she told the girl on the desk we were waiting for him, which of course we weren’t.

‘Well, well, I see you’ve got a new friend.’ A tall woman with a sort of commanding voice, bright red hair and permanently raised eyebrows came straight up to us with her hands in the pockets of her floppy trousers. She was with a thick-set, grinning man who I put down as Caribbean. Lucy said, ‘This is Deirdre,’ and told her that I was her new friend, Terry Keegan. Then Deirdre asked if Lucy had picked me up at SCRAP. When Lucy admitted it, Deirdre said that was where she’d picked up Ishmael. She seemed very proud of him. ‘He’s a terrific rap singer, you know.’

Then Deirdre went on to tell us that after the dinner at her Uncle Charles’s spread it was discovered that a few little things were missing, including two or three of his precious snuff boxes. The funny thing was that Deirdre’s uncle suspected Ishmael, although he was busy entertaining them all with his rap and never went off around the house on his own. They still suspected him - pure bloody racism.

‘How ridiculous!’ Lucy was saying, cool as a cold beer. At which little Ishmael started laughing until he shook all over. ‘Yes, it was. Very ridiculous!’ he managed to splutter out through his laughter.

I thought that another reason why Lucy should stop thieving was that professional blaggers like this Ishmael shouldn’t get blamed for all the crimes she committed.

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